Reviews For Jake

Saturday, July 19, 2008

The Dark Knight

Now, I am NOT a big fan of action films, so when I was asked to go with my friends to see the the latest Batman movie I was in it more for spending time with people I love more than I was SOOOO excited about seeing this flick. With that being said: THIS MOVIE IS FUCKING GREAT!

With just one year passed after taking out Ra's Al Ghul's plan to have Gotham eliminated and the mysterious disappearance of Dr. Jonathan Crane AKA the Scarecrow, after the city was nearly plundered with his toxins, Bruce Wayne and his vigilante alter-ego the Batman, continue the seemingly-endless effort to bring order to Gotham, with the help of Lt. James Gordon and newly appointed District Attorney Harvey Dent, but a new threat has now emerged into the streets. The Dark Knight faces a rising psychopathic criminal called The Joker, who's eerie grin, laughter, and inhuman morality makes him more dangerous than what he has yet to unleash. It becomes an agenda to the Batman to stop the mysterious Joker at all cost, knowing that the both of them are in the opposite line. One with no method at all and seeks to see the world plunge into the fire he has yet to lit. One who represents the symbol of hope and uses his own shadow to bring the peace and order he has yet to accomplish on doing.

Oh, is THAT what it was about? Cause people were saying it was about 20 minutes too long...

I didn't think so.

I mean there could have been a little less of Maggie Gyllenhaal if I had my druthers. (Since when is Art-Deco an acting style, I ask you?) But don't get me wrong: she's fine in this and I wished I was her in the out-of-period-dress she wore in the party scene, but after loving her in Stranger Than Fiction, liking her in Happy Endings and loathing her in just about everything else she's not her brother in, I was very happy with this performance. (I think there was a compliment in there somewhere...at least there was supposed to be...)

Christian Bale as Bruce Wayne/Batman was serviceable. (No, not like that) His voice was a little Brenda Vicaro for me as Batman, but whatever, I love Brenda Vicaro. Heath Ledger was brilliant as The Joker. Academy Award winning, no. (But if Jennifer Hudson and Gwyneth Paltrow can win Oscars, SHUT UP! I KNOW!, he's a shoo in!) Aaron Eckhart (who I've never seen in anything before) was neat. (and I mean that in the Warren Beatty/Madonna/Truth or Dare kinda way) as Harvey Dent. I liked him A LOT better in his second half of the film. (and if you've already seen the film, he's a better actor when he's only half the man he's trying to be on screen.)

The Dark Knight has AMAZING action sequences, good story and and really delves into the characters we have grown to think we know. There's TONS of drama, funny bits and excellent suspense while giving us something new AND paying homage to the classic.

Now if I could just figure out why Morgan Freeman is the new God, my life would be complete.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Freaky Friday

There was nothing on TV this weekend and as I was flipping channels I came across Freaky Friday starring Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsey Lohan.

Why is God's name should I watch this? I've heard people say it was good, but GOOD good? SHUT UP! I KNOW! How is that possible?

So, I watched it.

and I watched it.

and I didn't hate it.

Jamie Lee Curtis is funny. Lindsay Lohan isn't slutty and a mess yet, so she's rather becoming. Especially when she becomes the mom and has to go to a formal affair, I gotta tell you: she looks simply divine.

Mark Harmon was great as the dad, but I SO wish Stephen Collins would have been booked instead, but I guess HE didn't have to work! (Oh no I didn't! YES I DID!!!) Chad Michael Murray was kind of ridiculous as the love interest, but he's pretty so I guess that's all that matters... at least that's what society tells me... (Oh no I didn't! OH YES I DID!) The ladies who own/run the Chinese restaurant are funny. Not like BAD funny, more like I actually laughed out loud at a few things they said funny.

All I know, is that before I knew it I was crying while Jamie Lee was playing for Lindsay at The House Of Blues while Jamie Lee's character was still stuck in Lindsay's character's body.

That's right, I just cried watching Freaky Friday.

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THE WORLD?

Sunday, January 7, 2007

Spring Awakening

Went and saw Spring Awakening last night and walked out.

SHUT UP! I KNOW!

This is the third Broadway show I have walked out of in my life.

The first was when my friend and I went to see Uncle Tom's Cabin (because his client was in it) and me being the show "aficionado" waited until Topsy died (because that's what happens in the 10 min version of Small House of Uncle Thomas during The King and I ) and then we walked out.

...turns out there were TWO more acts!!!! SHUT UP! I KNOW X 2!!!!

But I got to tell you, it was the worst show ever, regardless of WHOS cabin it was, so it's okay.

THEN I saw The Producers a couple of months ago, which was SO awful. (No it wasn't original cast, but it WAS a knock-off of an understudy of a replacement! (In other words: garbage)

and now Spring Awakening.

Honestly, I DO believe I have learned to lower my expectations over the years for things people rave about. (and this show EVERYONE has raved about) but frankly, it's Rent costumed by the same people who did that movie Witness (where the hell IS Kelly McGillis) featuring multiple songs from Hedwig and The Angry Inch starring the vocal styling of pretentious American Idol cast-offs performed by the amatuer future has-beens from the next revival of Annie.

I swear.

Now, I'm not gonna go on and on trashing it because...well...I have to go to work and this could take all day and I'm sure people are gonna disagree (after all kids were screaming (thankfully it subsided/they got a clue) after the first few numbers which included such top chart toppers (not) as: You Are My Bruise and Life's a Bitch), but I gotta tell you: "A" There were more flat notes belted than when Jennifer Paz hit LA with Miss Saigon and "B" the Act One Finale was a guy finger-banging a girl on an over sized porch swing then pulling down his pants to have sex with her while his ass jiggled in yellow lights during some semi-ballad called: "Say Hi Men To My Hymen".

Save your money and see the same thing in Germany under red lights for free.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Children of Men

Last week I caught "Children of Men" with Julianne Moore, Clive Owen and Michael Caine.

It's kind of a cross between Schindler's List and Total Recall. Except Children of Men had WAY more extras than Schindler's List and no one wants to go to Mars like in Total Recall...they just want to go home.

C.O.M. takes place in 2027 where humans can no longer procreate (Wait, so no more Republican's? SHUT UP! I KNOW!) and a former activist (Clive Owen) agrees to help out the rebellion (more or less headed by Julianne Moore) by transporting something/someone that could change the world (or lack thereof) as they know it.

Michael Caine is slightly genius, Clive Owen is fine and Julianne Moore is beautiful as usual but "A" she's giving you stunt casting DOWN and "B" how she was the only one without an accent (and there were more accents in this movie than Julia Roberts had in Mary Reilly) I'll never understand.

The movie is good-ISH. I'm glad I saw it, but it's no V for Vendetta (which is what people are sort of comparing it to) V for Vendetta had me leaving the theater ready to take on the world by taking a stand in what I believe in. C.O.M. just had me leaving the theater ready to get in my car. I mean come on, the movie was only 108 minutes, but felt like 3008 minutes. It's slow most of the time while being action packed at a few points and there is one specific scene/scenes that was freakin' riveting. You could feel the entire audience watch in silence as their tears (mine included) hit the floor. If the entire film was like this particular scene, it would be the new Dancer in the Dark.

But it's not. It's more the new Passion of the Communists.