Rules when baby/housesitting:1. If a caller breaths and doesn't ask what you're wearing, hang up. It is NOT going to turn out well.
2. Don't keep answering the phone, you stupid bitch.
3. *69 wont save you. It's all about *77 Anonymous Call Rejection!!!
4. If the ethnic maid was there one minute and is gone the next, that means she's dead. "A" Maids ALWAYS say goodbye. It's how they let you know that they know that you live like a pig. "B" They're Ethnic. Ethnics ALWAYS die first.
5. The only way you will know she is a real maid is if her name is Rosa. (Rosa? What are the writers fucking kidding me? I know SO many Hispanic people and I don't know one named Rosa! Why the stereotypical name? It's like they think Hispanic people have like 2 names! The girls: Rosa and Maria. The Guys: Carlos and Manuel. Now I'm not one to drop names (but I'm always one to point out when someone else does) but I was at an event at Jennifer Love-Hewitt's Mom's house last night (SHUT UP! I KNOW!) and her Hispanics were named Sandra and Israel. Get it together Hollywood! (Sorry... weird pet peeve I had to voice.)
6. Blondes are always bitches in horror films and die. Only the brunettes survive. If your blonde friend breaks into your housesitting gig and then suddenly disappears, she's dead. She's not playing a trick on you and you saying "This isn't funny" down a dark hallway in a big empty house won't save you. Don't be stupid. You're brunette: YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER!!!
7. Let's not leave the house when you see shadows outside, mmm-kay?
Now, that being said, I didn't hate it THAT much. Since Anne Hathaway can now officially act, Camilla Belle is the new OLD Anne Hathaway.
I screamed at a couple of parts. ALL the classics were there. When he said: "Have you checked the children?" you could feel the wave of terror through the audience. It was SO cool!
Were the endings the same though? I can't remember! Did the girl escape at the end or did she die? And I don't think I knew that that was Carole Kane. Has the bitch been around forever or what?
That reminds me: She was funny in Scrooged.
