Up In The Air

I wish this review were brought to you by American Airlines and Hilton Hotels much like this movie was, but it's not. (...and THAT should conclude my bitchiness for this review, 'cause I LOVED THIS MOVIE!)

See, my friend Beverly asked if I had seen Up in the Air and I had not. As a matter of fact I didn't really care about seeing it even with it's six Academy Award nominations.

What a mistake. Great flick.

Long story short this film is an adaptation of the 2001 novel of the same name, written by Walter Kirn. The story is about a "corporate downsizer" named Ryan Bingham (George Clooney) and his travels, life and philosophies... and the people he meets along the way. I don't really want to say anything more because I didn't know a THING about it except that it's about a guy who works for a company that other people hire to fly out and fire their employees. That's all anyone REALLY ever said about it and that worked out BRILLIANTLY for me.

But it's about SO much more. It's about life, choices, desires, missions, expectations, family, trust, hope and of course, love.


Along the way he meets Alex (Vera Farmiga who is SO freaking charming!!!) and what you think is going to be a terminal relationship (See what I did there? Airport comedy. Works every time.) turns into SO much more. Jason Bateman portrays Clooney's boss and calls him back to the office to meet a new employee named Natalie Keener (Anna Kendrick) who is completely different from him and instead of it being a crappy movie formula, she ends up opening both the eyes of the viewer, her onscreen co-stars and even herself.

(She looks like a VERY angry Stephanie Tanner from Full House, no?)

Seriously: I laughed a LOT, I cried more than I expected, I was charmed often and even got a few of those "Oh-my-God-NO Chills". Um, there was this convention party scene that I have NO idea what the hell the point of it was, but whatever, and every ONCE in a while, the film breaks away from the two relationships you want to follow (and those moments = boring times) but those moments could just be palette cleansers to make sure that YOU'RE sure that you care about the characters.

I will say the end of the movie was SUPER predictable...the very end was not and the very, VERY end was perfect. SEE IT!

Date Night

I have to tell you, I was PLEASENTLY surprised by this film. Steve Carrell drives me ABSOLUTELY fucking crazy and he didn't bother me...like, not at all. Who knew? Tina Fey of course was great. VERY funny.

The plot of the movie is more or less this: Phil and Claire Foster (Steve Carell and Tina Fey) are a married couple from New Jersey with children whose life has become routine. Included in this routine is their weekly "date night" at a local steakhouse. They learn that their best friends, Brad (Mark Ruffalo, always sexy) and Haley (Kristen Wiig, not really a 'film' actress I think), are getting a divorce, so in an effort to reignite their marriage, Phil takes Claire to a trendy Manhattan restaurant where they can't get a table so Phil decides spice up the evening by taking a reservation from a no-show couple, the Tripplehorns.

Dun,Dun,fun. Comedy ensues.

A bunch of people are in this film: Ray Liotta (wearing WAY too much eyeliner), Mark Wahlberg (sexy as always), James Franco (again, sexy as always), Mila Kunis and Academy Award nominee Taraji P. Henson. Every NOW and then there is crappy 'romantic comedy' dialogue but for the most part it's a comedy with actually really good action.

I recommend it.


Um, I didn't see ONE preview for this film before I went and honestly I just went because it was Tina Fey and despite that it was Steve Carrell, but if YOU want to see the trailer here it is, but I gotta tell you. The trailer makes it look kinda crappy and typical but I didn't think it really was. To me, it was genuinely funny and genuinely exciting:



Oh and stay for a few outtakes during the ending credits. I love me some outtakes and there are a couple of REALLY funny ones...

A tax year in review!

As I was doing my expenses for my taxes this year, I came across all the ticket stubs of the movies I've been to. I'm writing them all off, but some I'd like to write off more than others.

Ponyo-

Loved it. Who knew? Totally interesting and captivated the entire time.

Julie & Julia-
LOVE the 'Julia', HATE the Julie.

District 9-

Yawn. Best Picture, REALLY? At The Razzie's maybe. I get it. It's a movie about the Apartheid. (no matter HOW much you wanna pretend that it's about xenophobia!) Whatever. I'll take a message movie ANYTIME but not when the word Prawn is used...

The Proposal-

I don't know HOW, but it got me. Especially that scene when she's trying to go to sleep. HYSTERICAL! I love me some Betty White, but not when she's stunt cast. Sorry.

The Last Beekeeper-

REALLY interesting and well done. I even went on a weekend trip this year to witness what the film is about.

The Hangover-

Overall: HYSTERICAL! A few things bugged me about it, but who gives a shit. I laughed my ass off.

Observe and Report-

Umm, Seth Rogan is about as funny as Kevin James. (That's not a compliment...)

Angels & Demons-

Tom Hanks bloated and not acknowleding his hairline...or lack thereof...while running through the streets and sewers of Italy using all the dialogue from National Treasure 2 starring Nicolas Cage. No, thanks you. I will say I do have sympathy though, this must have been a REALLY boring film to shoot...because it was REALLY boring to watch.

The Informers-

I totally forgot this movie till I went and read the synopsis. I didn't get it THEN and I don't get it now. Were they vampires or just pasty whores? I think it was OBVIOUS someone was gay but it didn't play out (no pun intended). HERE'S the review I wrote for Jake.

Star Trek-
I didn't hate it. Winona Ryder: meh.

Watchmen-

HATED IT! Oh crap, ONE OF THE WORST FILMS I'VE EVER SEEN! EVER!!!!

2012-

I dug it. Captivating special effects and Amanda Peet was good. (Which I NEVER say...)

X-Men Origins: Wolverine-
I just watched the movie trailer again, and apparently the film is completely forgettable. Don't remember a thing.

I Love You, Man-

One of my favorite 'guy' films EVER! (Jason Segel: CALL ME. I love YOU, man!)

Last House on the Left-

This film was "A" SO VIOLENT. TOO VIOLENT and "B" SO BAD, I couldn't sit through it. I made it up until the part the father makes the son watch as he rapes a girl in the woods that the son brought home after they gang rape the girl's friend after stabbing her in the stomach and letting her bleed out AS they rape her. (Did I mention this was a film aimed at a teenage audience?) Apparently there's an UN-rated version. Ugh. Good luck with that.

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs-
Totally enjoyable. Who knew?

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince-

If I had my way, I wouldn't have seen this film OR any of the one(s) to come. It's done. We get it: You fly on brooms and play quidditch and candles float. It's like they're saying: Who needs a story when you got all THAT going on? Right? RIGHT!?!??!

Wrong.

My Bloody Valentine 3D-
Didn't hate it. Even though I will say 3D is supposed to make things come out at you NOT add depth. This was one of the first times I saw the "NEW" 3D. ...and it made me miss Jaws 3 in 3D. Now, THAT was 3D!! GIMME SHARK GUTS SPEWING FROM THE SCREEN! YEAHH!!!!!!

Monsters vs. Aliens-
Not crap, but not great.

Paranormal Activity-
I hated that it was marketed as 'The NEW Blair Witch'. Why would you do that? Didn't you want people to think it was real? Instead you went in ALREADY knowing that it's a fake, so in between all the scary stuff (and there WAS SCARY STUFF! I HAD MY EYES COVERED AT THE END. COULDN'T DEAL.) there was scene after scene of BAD acting. BAD, BAD ACTING. Like, worse than anything on the CW Network. What was the point of that? So all the scary stuff was GREAT, all the scenes between (and there are A LOT of them) are so bad, it's scary.

Bruno-

Walked out. Went to ask for my money back and apparently I had sat through too much of the movie. (yeah, you're telling me!)

Precious-

Mo'Nique was FANTASTIC, Mariah had a moustache, I laughed, cried and was inspired. Lovely flick.

I will say that with all the hits AND misses of 2009... I didn't buy any of them on DVD. To me, that's the REAL sign of a good movie. (And if I'm correct, the last DVD I bought of a 'new release' was The Devil Wears Prada.)

Clash of the Titans

Clash of the Sweeping Shots is more like it.

In the original 1981 film, they didn't have the technology for all the stuff you're gonna see in this new one, but what they DID have was talent and story and heart. (Not to mention Maggie Smith's head braking off and talking to us, but that's not the point...) They didn't have a Grecian A-Team to get Perseus through his journey, they had a metal owl named Bubo. (Who is only a five second punchline in this version...and I hate them for that.) They didn't have a Rock and Roll sword training sequence, they DECIDED TO MOVE THE STORY FORWARD. You know what else they didn't have? A bunch of B, C and D plot story lines! No, they trusted their hero instead.

The new 2010 version decides IT'S GOING TO (damn it!) expand the story and open it up, when really all they did was make it longer, add a bunch of characters no one cares about and then work in an underlying "message" that comes across as Anti God and Anti Bi-Racial. It's really bizarre. The original film was about humans, the relationship with their Gods and vice versa. Now it's about how a group of guys and some intuitive/pouty girl set up a play date to reenact The Lord of the Rings while listening to 1990's grunge rock! They didn't make ANYTHING better. Not the actors, not the special effects, not the story...maybe the costumes (think Flash Gordon, but in earth tones) and like, two of the sets. (Zeus' place, is KICK ass!)

Here are my questions: Where's the invisible helmet? EVERYONE KNOWS that invisibility is everyones favorite superpower, right after flying. Why did they turn Calibos into some Watchman knock-off? There IS no Thetis, thus no talking head scene OR proper story of how Gods play out their revenge on each other by using man as their game pawns. Instead they pin it all on Satan and make him do all the dirty work instead of an interesting story of what a mother will do for her child. Speaking of which, since when wasn't Calibos enough of an antagonist? Did they think they were REALLY gonna have a clash of the titans by conjuring up Ralph Fiennes as Hades? (FYI: That's Greek for Satan). Save that shit for Voldemort!

Why is Pegasus black? Like...WHAT?! REALLY!? If they remake Legend, is the unicorn gonna be plurble and the finale dancing dress yellow without a collar? WHY WOULD YOU FUCK WITH PEGASUS? And What the HELL is with the addition of the blue-eyed WOOD Aliens? Seriously!? This choice is worse than casting Sam Worthington as Perseus.

Harry Hamlin, you were missed.



Here's the thing: they took a fantasy film and turned it into an action flick. (God forbid, they're thinking about remaking Willow...but this time TALL!). It's now got all the same crappy action film speeches, smirks and one-liners, while all of the fantasy has been traded for forced 'period piece' reality. It's not magical, it's not ethereal, it's not fantasy. It's Sci-Fi Action now. It's like Hollywood wanted to get everyone who liked X-Men, Harry Potter and The Lord of the Rings and they weren't gonna get them unless this film was JUST LIKE THOSE, while if the creators had REALLY taken a second to look back, they would see that Clash of the Titans is what inspired those very films!

Mads Mikkelson as Draco, sidekick #1, was good. I LOVED him in Casino Royale. Liam Neeson as Zeus, is really just playing Liam Neeson. (Did you go to the Jack Nicholson school of non-acting, honey?) Gemma Arterton as Lo, was probably one of my favorite roles. I don't know who she is, but she's FREAKIN' GORGEOUS and totally perfect. Acting, the look, costuming, it's perfect. She's perfect. She services the crappy dialogue they give her and has a stylized performance that it seemed the entire rest of the film was lacking. Thumbs up, bitch! (I also have to admit the Scorpion fight scene was REALLY intense and totally enjoyable!)

Now, am I a loyalist to the original? No. I just finally realize why my parents always got upset when Hollywood would remake one of their movies.

What's the point? It was perfect the first time.

...and if it weren't, you wouldn't be wanting to remake in the first place, now would you?