Now, I would like to start with a special thanks to her manager/hair stylist/best homo helper/friend for FINALLY giving Miss Thang some new hair. MAKE CARRIE BRADSHAW GO AWAY!!!! We have every episode on DVD and/or burned into our memory. We got it. She's got great hair. Now, let's cut it off. Let's dye it dark brown (yes, it's not just for the commercials honey), MY GOD, EVEN PERM THE BITCH! I just don't care. I can't take it wavy or blown out straight one more time!!!
...I'm sorry, where was I?... Oh..she had new hair... Thank you.
In this film, Matthew McConaughey was pulling a Ryan Reynolds from Amityville Horror with the amount of shirtless shots he had. (I think that's the new Movie Red Flag. ***If the stars have their clothes off too many times (for no apparent reason), it means they are trying to distract you from what is being said or happening on screen! REMEMBER THAT!)
Zooey what's-her-name is funny. I will say that. We laughed at almost EVERYTHING she did. Afterward S. Dwayne reminded me that she was in The Good Girl with Jennifer Aniston... WE DIED LAUGHING during THIS scene where Zooey's character works at a cosmetics counter in a crappy store with a hysterically crappy attitude:
Old Woman: I look too white, don't you think?
Zooey: Not at all. I'm just trying to match your face with your hair. I was thinking you're not white enough.
Old Woman: I think I look kind of weird.
Zooey: The first rule of fashion is you have to look weird. What I'm doing has come straight here from France.
Old Woman: Oh?
Zooey: It's called Cirque du Face, meaning "Circus of the Face", and it's all the rage with the Frenchies, ma'am.
OH and Justin Bartha TOTALLY rocked too!
A lot of 'Launch' fell flat (I mean, how do you make Kathy Bates appear untalented?), Sarah Jessica squeaks...A LOT, and EVERYONE has great teeth. I guess the short review is this:
If you want to see an almost romantic comedy that tries to be 'Something About Mary' at times with its bad, bad, BAD gags that bring silence to an almost full theater, but can't get off the ground because the best players are the supporting cast that has to repeat the same old "You're running from love, Man!" dialogue. Then this film is for you. If you hate that shit, take a number and wait for something better... like her next film:
Spinning into Butter
A hate crime on the campus of a New England college puts the school's dean (Parker) in a position where she has to examine her own feelings about race and prejudice, while maintaining her administration's politically correct policies.
SHUT UP! I KNOW! BaRf, PuKe, BELCH!!!!
If you DO have 97 minutes to kill and you have nothing to do, I urge you to catch this film if only for Zooey Whoseywhatsit's performance and the amazingly awful/ridiculously hysterical (because they are SO obvious) reshoots they edit into the wrap up scene where Sarah Jessica Parker goes from this:
TO THIS:
AND BACK TO THIS:
...like no one's gonna notice...
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