An American Haunting

Last night I went and saw An American Haunting and I have to tell you: It's Hauntingly awful.


Like for reals ya'all.



"A" Dear Sissy Spacek,

Don't.

Just stop.

I forgave you for "Blast from The Past" and I also forgave you for "The Ring 2". I'm sure some people don't know that you were the voice of Anne Uumellmahaye in "The Man With Two Brains", but I do. You kicked ass in 'Carrie' and you kicked ass in 'Night Mother'. You've been nominated 6 times for an Oscar and won 1. What are YOU doing in this trash chute of a movie? Donald Sutherland, I understand. He's awful in everything! (We get it Donald: you're an "Actor". Please bring it down a little, mmm-kay?) But YOU Sissy? Bad. BAAAADDDD SISSY!

"B" Since when does loud=scary? (They must have went to the Dakota Fanning school of film making. SCREAMING IS NOT ACTING DAKOTA!!!)

"C" This movie is bad. Not bad/good like Basic Instinct 2 but bad BAD. Like, when people were laughing it was because it was SO bad and SO long and SO ridiculous, we as the audience couldn't take it anymore. At one point the girl gets pulled by her hair by "the ghost" and ends up looking like Kathy Najimy in Hocus Pocus. Showing here:



My other favorite part is when "the ghost" is panning and tilting flying around the room and the slave maid gives this look into camera like: "Molly, you in danger girl." It was so dead on, I said it out loud and got a laugh. SHUT UP! I KNOW!


"D" My suggestion: If you want to see a scary movie, go see Scary Movie. You'll probably laugh cause you're suppose to.

"E" James D'Arcy is hot. (Even in a terrible period piece.)