The DaVinci Code

This weekend I went on a hunt for a good movie with plot, characters, drama... maybe a little comedy thrown in... AND something that "everyone" is going to go see. So, The DaVinci Code is what made the final selection.



Decode this people: EBCDIC REID HONG VIA IS TON



If you think it says: BACONNECTED DR HOG I VII IS... you're wrong.




If you think it says: THE DAVINCI CODE IS BORING... BINGO!!!! You're today's big winner!



When did people start talking so much? What am I watching Les Miz?! Jesus this movie was long. It could have ended like 3 times. (At one point I leaned over to Warwickstein and said "He's not gonna have to walk all the way back to where he just came from is he?" 'Cause I had to go potty damn it!)

And can we talk about flashbacks? Oy. There were SO many flashbacks, that I started having hotflashes... and I'm not even going though MANopause yet...

Half the people I couldn't understand what they were saying, 3/4 of the movie I was trying to figure out just how much salt Tom Hanks has been eating in the last few years and the entire length of the film I kept thinking: who cares?

I mean seriously people: WHO THE FUCK CARES!?!?!? AND WHY ISN'T ANYONE SAYING 'BEWARE OF THE DWARF ALBINO!?!?'

Blah, Blah, Blog she's French. Blah, Blah, Blog, he's a cripple. Blah, Blah, Blog he's a ghost, no an angel no a ghost.

One thing I will say, is that I heard a review about the film that said there was NO action, good plot twists, etc. and I totally disagree. There WERE plot twists! There WAS great action, but between those exciting events it was a lecture on history, church and a poor girl's fucked up childhood.

Ugh, drain, snore.