Thoroughly Modern Millie

Thoroughly Modern Millie is a 1967 musical film nominated for seven Academy Awards and five Golden Globes. In 2000 it was adapted for a successful stage musical of the same name starring Sutton Foster and in 2003 a DVD was released:


Which is what I'm reviewing for Jake.

Long story short, the movie is about a woman in the 1920's who wants to get a job so she can marry her boss so she is both earning her own money AND marrying for wealth instead of love (which is thoroughly modern for the time) AND, I almost forgot, who lives in an "All Girl's Hotel" where the house mother is selling the girls into white slavery.

Um, WHAT THE FUCK?

You heard it kids...and it's set to music.

Now when I went to rent it from the Video Store (yeah, I still do that. It's my cardio...), the employee there gave it a HORRIBLE review and thought I shouldn't even waste my time on it. (Which of course is why I rented it.) Come on: if I have to hear one more queen yell RASPBERRIES at me and I don't know what the fuck they're talking about, I'm gonna throw myself out of an airplane over Long Island.

So the movie starts off with Julie Andrews, looking young and beautiful as Millie Dillmount (Yep, the thoroughly modern one) and after a poor man's version of Good Morning Baltimore she meets and befriends Miss Dorothy Brown played by Mary Tyler Moore. Miss Dorothy is an actress who has left her safety and wealth to "live".

Overall, I hate this character, but I always hate characters like this, so it's no big deal.

At a friendship dance, Millie (in a FABULOUS yellow and black outfit) meets paper clip salesman Jimmy Smith, played by James Fox. Blah, blah, blah: they dance, she likes him, they go for a drive and park. (Is this the 20's or the 50's?!) Later she gets a job at a bank and that is where we meet Trevor Graydon. (I love him and he's gorgeous and I hate that he's a Republican) ladies and gentlemen, John Gavin:




She loves him, as do I, but he ends up loving Miss Dorothy.

Anyway, Jimmy later takes Millie and Miss Dorothy on an outing to Long Island, where they meet Carol Channing as Muzzy "Raspberries" Van Hossmere (can you say scene stealer?) and although Millie is falling in love with Jimmy, she is determined to stick to her plan and marry Trevor.

Drama.

So what I haven't gotten into was the B plot line of Mrs. Meers (the hotel house mother) making several attempts to kidnap Miss Dorothy and hand her over to her Asian henchmen. (I think this is supposed to be funny and maybe in 1967 it was hysterical, but frankly they should have just cut it out.) Finally Mrs. Meers succeeds and Millie realizes Miss Dorothy is just one of several girls who have vanished without a word to anyone. Cut to Jimmy dressing in drag to try and get abducted, which he does and then we end up in Chinatown (of course) and that's where we find a ton of girls all tied up and...really, who cares. It's all B Plot line stuff.

If it weren't for all the white slavery stuff, I actually found the movie pretty enjoyable. Julie Andrews is funny and John Gavin is gorgeous and I'll take that as my life ANYTIME. It's a little long but the costumes are wonderful and it's really a story about following your heart instead of your mind and again: I'll take that as my life ANYTIME.