Hereafter

After sitting in that theater for two and a half hours watching this crap flick, I'm pretty sure I died and came back! This clunker is long and boring. It wasn't until the sixty-first minute that anything ACTUALLY happens excluing the opening scene which doesn't really set anything up except for the reason for the 100 Million dollar budget!


Directed by Clint Eastwood, why I don't know, the movie tells three parallel stories about three people affected by death in different ways. Matt Damon plays George, a psychic (ala 1978's The Fury, if you ask me) and Jay Mohr plays his douche of a brother. Jenifer Lewis is in the movie for like 28 seconds, which just sucks because she's always so good. Cécile de France gives an enchanting performance as Marie and my new husband, after Austin's Weatherman Mark Chapin of course, Thierry Neuvic is wonderful to watch...and listen to speak French...and gawk at:

Here's my issue with this flick: NOTHING HAPPENS! There's a bunch of really lovely scenes. Some emotional. Some impacting. One moved me to tears! BUT NOTHING HAPPENS!!!!! It wasn't one of those "slice-of-life" films like I think they thought it was. It's more like someone's artsy attempt at trying to montage three brilliant movie ideas together, but they couldn't figure out how to, so they just end it with some abrupt Saturday Night Live skit ending because no one could think of anything else to write.

Matt Damon: yawn. Clint Eastwood's directing: yawnier. The audience walking out after the film: yawniEST!!!

You don't need to ACTUALLY die and come back to see what death is like. Go sit in a theatre and watch this mess. THAT is what death is like!